What do costumes, a used limo, a fat sheriff and Las Vegas have in common? I will tell you…
The Fur Bus, quite simply the greatest form of transportation ever created aside from the Tesla, Ford Focus and Monster Plantation at Six Flags, did not begin as a bus. WHAT? Not a bus. Whoa…
In 1999 four awfully bizarre dudes lived in a old, rat infested home on Wieuca Road in Buckhead. There was Jobe the DJ, Bucky the Soccer Player, Billy the Pharmacist and Trey (that’s me) the gorgeous one. The four split chores, threw the largest Halloween party in Atlanta and dreamed up the dumbest ideas on earth. Including this one…
One day, Jobe and Trey (the strong and handsome one) decided to by a used limo. Why? Can’t remember.
The two fellas hit some shanty used car joint on Cobb Parkway and talked this barely-human-funeral-home-car-salesman into selling them a brown Cadillac limo for $1000. Cash. They tried to talk him down. He said no. They said ok.
This lemon of a vehicle needed hoards of repairs. It also failed emissions 7 times before the poor mechanics simply let it pass so the boys wouldn’t come back. It’s all ball bearings these days.
She was a 1982 Cadillac Brougham stretch limo with brown cloth seats. Seats that all faced forward. A real gem.
They painted the limo pink, sorry, raspberry using only the finest house paint from the Home Depot. Billy, the flamboyant one of the bunch, attacked the interior with mounds of faux fur, hot glue, Christmas lights and disco balls. It was a rolling disaster. A real non-chick magnet.
They did have a fantastic idea though….
Advertisement: Hey, please rent the Fur Bus for any special event, concert, birthday or sporting event here in Atlanta. We have buses that seat 14 – 30 people and our drivers are the coolest people in Atlanta. Call us at 404-467-773 or email@example.com for all the details. Great, sorry, had to add this…
What was the idea? It was to drive the tank to Las Vegas for New Year’s Eve. Could it make it? Probably not.
Here were the rules for the trip to Las Vegas:
1) Costumes and polyester clothing was the only clothing allowed on the trip and all piled into the trunk with zero luggage.
2) Billy was never allowed to drive.
Those were the rules.
So, the clan departed a week before NYE and headed South via New Orleans and Texas.
A couple of days into the pilgrimage they were cruising through South Texas on the way to Mexico (because there is Tequila in Mexico). However, just before arriving at the border they passed a police car in the median of the highway. Trey (that’s me) was driving.
Sure enough, blue lights flashing, Trey (Model like looks) guided the pink beast to the side of the road and waited for instruction. And instructions came…
“Please step to the back of the car and keep your hands in the air” said a man composed of a gigantic beer belly, cowboy hat and sherifs badge. Trey (yeah yeah) obliged.
Once at the back of the car, the sheriff then asked, “Son, why are you wearing a motorcycle helmet?”
Pause: Trey (the smart one) had been driving for a few hours and completely forgot that he and Billy were both wearing motorcycle helmets, wife beater tank tops and polyester pants in the front seat while Jobe and Bucky were wearing full tiger costumes in the back seat. Standard attire for a casual drive through Texas.
As Trey fumbled over his words the only thing he could think to say was,”Safety first”.
The cop proceeded to ask over 4000 questions with 3500 of them being “Are you sure you are not on drugs?”.
The officer let the boys go and they went straight to Mexico. And found Tequila…
To be continued next month….