Tis the season! Whatever. Listen folks, please Lord do something different this year with your holiday party themes. Sure, everyone adores the CRAZY SWEATER party at your two bedroom apartment with passed hors d’oeuvres. However, that sucks.
Do something fun. Cause a commotion. Get noticed. Hark the Angels. Long live the King! What?
I have painstakingly developed 10 amazing ideas that will make this season one to remember. No jail required.
10. Rent The FUR BUS – No brainer folks, no brainer. Is brainer a word? Did you know the brain of an elephant weighs 12 lbs which is the same size as a fat toy poodle?
9. Fur Bus Santa Crawl – Grab 10 to 25 of your dumbest friends, make some Santa suits and hit five random bars in one night. Take a bag of awkward gifts to hand out to the bartenders.
8. Fur Bus Reindeer Crawl – Skip the Santa crawl and have everyone dress as identical reindeer. Storm the bars like a true herd! Also, pour your drinks into small buckets and drink like authentic reindeer. Buckets is a fun word. Buckets. I think I will name my first son, Buckets Humphreys.
7. Wigs & Wine Tour – Do you like wine? Stupid question. Do you like wearing dumb wigs? Even more of a stupid question. Require everyone to wear a dumb wig, stock the Fur Bus with wine and hit the road! Make sure you choose very stuffy restaurants and bars to visit and bring sippy cups for the wine.
6. Buford Highway Christmas Carol Karaoke Tour – Why not hit 5 or 6 of the weirdest karaoke bars on Buford Highway with your oddest friends? You can even hand out awards at each stop for best song like they do at the Grammy’s. Tip: hit the thrift stores for random trophies.
5. Tacky Sweater Swap – Tell everyone you are hitting the town and to bring the worst holiday sweater they can find. Put all the sweaters in a grab bag or number them. Then draw numbers. If they sweater you pull doesn’t fit, WEAR IT ANYWAY. Oh man that sounds fun! I like fun. Wait..make it tacky pants party. That sounds like more fun. Fun is fun. Fun spelled backward is nuf.
4. Christmas Lights Tour – Get on the Fur Bus with a bunch of booze and tour all the neighborhoods with crazy Christmas lights. Actually, that sounds boring.
3. Toy Drive – Get your rich friends together and get on the bus. Head to the closest Walmart and go nuts buying toys. Then have the bus drive to different neighborhoods and give away all the toys. I don’t have any rich friends. I need new friends.
2. Super Hero Holiday Party – Tell everyone to create a Super Holiday Hero. Then hit all the bars. Or maybe all go as Vampires. Yeah, dress as a Vampires. No, wait, dress as Holiday KISS (the band). Hmmm….no actually dress holiday Star Wars characters. I have no idea. I like wine.
1. Go to the beach and don’t talk to anybody- There you go. Now, do the right thing and give us a call to book your festive party this holiday season! Please, call us. Come on, just give us a call. It will change your life forever! 404-360-9426 (PS. you can even text us on that number because we are technologically savvy).
We love you,
Trey and the Fur Bus EMPIRE!